the BBBBB

The idea came to me twelve hours before I took my first step out the door.
Blame the Heady Topper.

Beer abounds in Boston. Along with the rest of everywhere in our great Confused States of America, Boston's craft brewery scene has blossomed and spread with a vengeance, particularly in the last decade. There is a certain poetic justice to the craft beer boom in Boston; after all, this is the backyard of Jim Koch and the billion-dollar idea that making decent-tasting, creative beer would get people to hand over all of their money. So late on a Friday night, as I emptied a can of New England's most cultish DIPA, I decided to connect some dots on the map.

I found eight breweries along a 15-17 mile loop, all accessible from my doorstep in Jamaica Plain. The goal: run to each, drink some beer, and try to make it home without getting wasted and hit by a car or falling into the Charles.

the BIG BADASS BOSTON BREWERY BONANZA!

1. Boston Beer Company. What better spot to begin? This is the birthplace of Samuel Adams Boston Lager and the modern craft beer movement as we know it. It's also 0.7 miles from my house. I barely snuck in to the 10 AM tour and was treated to an hour of Beer 101, Brewing 101, excellent humor, and eventually ~20 oz of free beer. We tasted the classic Lager, the seasonal Hopscape, and the Chocolate Bock. Props to Doyle and Willy for their excellent tour. And yes - all of this is FREE. Do it.

2. Dorchester Brewing Company. My pleasant breakfast buzz carried me three miles east to Dorchester Brewing. Experiencing the Boston Beer Company and Dorchester Brewing back-to-back is to see both ends of the craft beer temporal spectrum. You begin at the birthplace of the largest, most influential craft brewery in the country and end at a cavernous, sparse, barely redecorated factory-building-turned-brewery that is a mere seven months old. Sean served me a half-pour of their delicious Tripel and I strolled through their tasting rooms, all alone at 11:30 AM on a Saturday morning.

3. Harpoon Brewery. Love beer, love life, yadda yadda, you know it, it's awesome beer. But holy shit - this place was crowded. Before my ever-buzzing eyes teemed the young, hip, snifter-sniffing craft beer consumers that line the wallets of the great beer beast. I was all too happy to join them. Oh, you don't do half pours? Well, twist my arm...

4. Trillium Brewing. No tasting room here, just a tiny little shop where one can buy cans and fill growlers. I hadn't done my research so I just bought a can of their Double IPA and shoved it in my pack for later. I was three beers in and had consumed no food - I was glad for the break.

5. Boston Beer Works. BUCKETS of FRIES? Yes please. And your signature pale ale to go with.  

            

6. Somerville Brewing Company - Slumbrew. After leaving BWX I was finally drunk enough to start making wrong turns. Mileage was added as I tried to find my way into Somerville, but eventually I stumbled into the parking lot of this curiously named locale. I desperately needed to stick to small pours, but all they offered in small sizes was barrel-aged-fuck-you-up-quick stuff, so what the hell? A rum-barrel-aged quad? 12% ABV? What could go wrong?

7. Cambridge Brewing Company. More wrong turns. But like all drunkards I persevered to my own detriment. Again with the small pours of heavy, lusty beer. A bourbon-barrel-aged barleywine? Wrong could go what?

8. Lamplighter Brewing. I was too drunk, this place was too crowded and too hip. I might have enjoyed it more if I hadn't already put in a half-marathon and wasn't hungry enough to eat a hipster. I also smelled bad and people were crowding away from me to give my scent its own safe-space. Their alt-bier was good, or at least I think it was; critical tasting had become difficult by this point. Time to go into survival mode.

Well, I made it home safely. I was far too uncomfortable to enjoy the Trillium beer so it's still in the fridge, waiting for the hangover to go away. I didn't really learn anything, but I did satisfy my curiosity and drank great beer at every location. But something nags at me...the thought that it could have been bigger. With more time, more food, and more responsible drinking, I do think this route could go further north and ensnare some more breweries. 

More importantly, this idea can be adapted to any large metropolitan area that has been infected with the craft beer virus. What about your city? Wanna plan an epic beer/running journey of your own?

HERE ARE THE RULES:

1. There are no damn rules. Are you kidding me? Does this look like the USATF? Enjoy yourself and don't get hurt, and if you do, don't mention this blog.

2. Alliteration is rad. I suggest you use it when naming your route.

-- Rob Rives, 2/20/2017